Sorry God.
Sorry Jude.
Sorry Mum.
Sorry brothers.
Sorry friends.
Sorry everyone.
Sorry life.
I'm.. sorry.
It feels like a stab,
on a wound hardly healed,
when I do the same wrong,
cause pain instead of pride,
oh how it pains me within to forget what I've just learnt!
To dig the same hole I'd just resolved to refill with earth.
How foolish I am!
Painfully foolish, oblivious, no, ignorant.
How many times have I gone through this, must I go through this?
And my mouth trembles,
but my lips dare say nothing,
for they are alas stuffed with bitter, scorching guilt,
jaws worn, weighed down
by the burdening shame of faults repeated,
for the umpteenth time!
My heart cries out, to everyone and to no one at the same time. To God, but.. why do I yet feel void, hollow, dumb?
How many more wrongs need to add up to make a right - A right that can never be wronged?
What, when, how, where does one attain purity -this precious undisturbed gem that's all but obscured by the lies that permeate the very air we breath?
What ever happened to self-respect, principles, values? Were they eroded by the compromises we so readily make for our worldly desires? Ultimately satisfying, filling nothing, but really just picking slowly at one's very soul until only echoes of what was once a living, loving human being are heard within their now morally vacant corpse.
So again I ask, I grumble and scratch at the earth, like the pecking chicken, in search of a mere morsel of purity, of that feverishly sought-after gem.. in the hope that it does exist. The hope that keeps us going.
- Jude.
Sorry Jude.
Sorry Mum.
Sorry brothers.
Sorry friends.
Sorry everyone.
Sorry life.
I'm.. sorry.
It feels like a stab,
on a wound hardly healed,
when I do the same wrong,
cause pain instead of pride,
oh how it pains me within to forget what I've just learnt!
To dig the same hole I'd just resolved to refill with earth.
How foolish I am!
Painfully foolish, oblivious, no, ignorant.
How many times have I gone through this, must I go through this?
And my mouth trembles,
but my lips dare say nothing,
for they are alas stuffed with bitter, scorching guilt,
jaws worn, weighed down
by the burdening shame of faults repeated,
for the umpteenth time!
My heart cries out, to everyone and to no one at the same time. To God, but.. why do I yet feel void, hollow, dumb?
How many more wrongs need to add up to make a right - A right that can never be wronged?
What, when, how, where does one attain purity -this precious undisturbed gem that's all but obscured by the lies that permeate the very air we breath?
What ever happened to self-respect, principles, values? Were they eroded by the compromises we so readily make for our worldly desires? Ultimately satisfying, filling nothing, but really just picking slowly at one's very soul until only echoes of what was once a living, loving human being are heard within their now morally vacant corpse.
So again I ask, I grumble and scratch at the earth, like the pecking chicken, in search of a mere morsel of purity, of that feverishly sought-after gem.. in the hope that it does exist. The hope that keeps us going.
- Jude.
Well said! To question the norm is truly to be enlightened.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Muqi. I'm glad that you share my view :) The norm has led us astray, and I'm exposing it.
ReplyDeleteOh Jude you're such a lovely writer. What made you write this?
ReplyDeleteHey Omono! Thank you so MUCH :) I really wanted to bring out that feeling I get when I fall back from certain resolutions, when our sinful (human) nature gets the best of us, and lets not only us down, but also those around us. I'd compare it to when you eat sth and you know it's wrong but you do it just for the momentary pleasure it brings - and yes, I'm referring to 'your' weakness to Micky D's and Toblerone
ReplyDelete